dealing with strong amounts of loneliness

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2021.10.17 08:05 sourMilkpickles dealing with strong amounts of loneliness

my only real friend is my boyfriend. i feel like everyone else around me doesn't actually want to be around me. i'm close with my 2 guy friends from 5th grade still, even as a senior now. but i can't hang out with one because he's hanging around the guy who SA'd me and i dont have the heart to tell either of them. i fear that the other one either isn't okay or doesn't like me anymore because i've been trying to hang out with him more - because i'm lonely. i was friend with this girl, B, who ended up going through a bunch of stuff and is now going to foster care. then i became friend with another girl [L] when HS started. i became, or tried, to become friends with B's sister, too [R]. the L girl's friend [O] told me that L and R were talking about how boring it was to be at my house. I could complain and go on and on about how i know that's not the real reason they don't like me. all i've ever done with them at their homes is play mario kart. and whats paining me writing this is L has my reddit and the possibility of her looking at this is low but not impossible.
because of this i've kind of silently just gone off the grid from them. i texted her a day ago but she hasn't said anything independently to me. but the entire time the silence and everything has gone on since O told me this i've never been so suicidal in my life. i've missed my quota for the entire semester already for days missed of school, my mom isn't even mad at me anymore she's just more concerned than anything. if it wasn't for my boyfriend i wouldn't be taking care of my pets, cause he helps me do it so i'm not alone. i'm so sad that my anger problems don't even stand against it anymore. i was about to rant about something dumb making me mad and literally just sat there like "why even say anything at all? why am i so bitter and angry all the time?" to my boyfriend because he asked what i was gonna say [over call]. i dented the wall where the front doorknob hits because i was angry thinking about all that's happened this year and wasn't thinking about my actions and opened the door too hard. i cracked the plastic of my rat's cage forcing it in wrong because i was mad and overheating trying to put it together. i road rage... a lot. it doesn't affect my driving but i get really loud sometimes. i still try to stay up to date on my showers and keeping my nails nice and trying to look like everythings okay.
but i'd be lying if i said i didn't wanna be dead rn. online friendships, irl friendships. i can't seem to befriend anyone other than guys everywhere i go. everytime i befriend a girl something goes wrong. rumors or talking behind my back or distancing or fuck just foster care just being in the way of me and my only last girl friend, B. i'm bi but i'm terrified of women, they've done nothing but hurt and abandon me. and i know if L reads this she'll just talk about it and make me feel like this is all my fault somehow. i could get so mad at everyone for everything over the years of being in this shitty town but i won't in this post because it's not about them this time. i have no comfort friends, i have no fun friends, i have no 'mom' friend, i have no best friend. i don't have anyone left for me. i truly dont think there's anyone besides my mom and bf that would care if i was gone. i'm so deathly lonely that i can't handle it. i was an introvert when i had all my friends, but the moment i finally became confident and extroverted everything backfired and now i'm alone with no one but my bf as someone my age.
so yeah
submitted by sourMilkpickles to feemagers [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 Over_Committee_2077 Add me if you need gifts / always open them! 9528 1064 7335

You don’t need to stress over sending back :)
I always seem to have an abundance and a lot of my current pals don’t open them.
submitted by Over_Committee_2077 to PokemonGoFriends [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 Pal3man [H] Steam Wallet $70 SEA [W] Paypal

Paypal Region is Asia/SEA Steam Region is Asia/SEA
submitted by Pal3man to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 totalialogika Religion thrives where ignorance, hypocrisy and selfishness are proeminent... even more monoeistic ones.

How else explain most educated people are hardly religious, more tolerant and understand a bigger picture?
Religion is all about tribalism, occultism and bigotry. Forget religious books supposedly promoting peace and understanding... their followers will always find a way to justify killing, looting and raping in the name of god, allah or yaweh etc...
Even a variation of buddhism, shintoism, was used to indoctrinate the kamikaze in their "divine" mission.
Strangely enough the Roman empire showed a strange tolerance for other beliefs and incorporated Egyptian or Greek gods in their belief system.
Which also begs the question? Are monoteistic religions violent, exclusionary and brutal by the very definition of their unicity and exclusion of anything not accepting their lone god? I think so.
I don't think cultures with multiple gods went on to religious warfares to convert the whole world to their systems... only islam and christianity stand alone, maybe with judaism, as aggressive and intolerant.
submitted by totalialogika to atheism [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 lukavwolf Edward Nygma is dying and has decides to pass his fortune, inventions and the mantle of The Riddler to whichever user comes up with the best riddle. What riddle do you present?

Original preferred, but this is Reddit after all.
submitted by lukavwolf to batman [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 JeddyknightV1 PSA don’t do squad battles when your baby has you up in the middle of the night. Forgot that the buttons were different when buying over there and accidentally bought a bronze keeper for 10k. 🤦‍♂️

submitted by JeddyknightV1 to fut [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 01infinite time and money

nothing else feels like 5 am even the air isn't awake yet 5:02, I piss for 32 seconds 5:04, I heat up the frying pan and get dressed 5:11, the eggs taste the same as yesterday if I leave at 5:16 exactly I can avoid all the stop lights for 26 miles and when I reach the site at 5:56 I still have 4 minutes those are my 4 minutes I can text my wife who's still in bed I can drive away and never look back I can buy a plane ticket to Tanzania you can do a lot with 4 minutes these days time has never held more value
submitted by 01infinite to Poems [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 wolfcrow72 Truck Dog

Truck Dog submitted by wolfcrow72 to ToyotaTacoma [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 DapperDemand5541 Texturing question

I was wondering if it was at all possible to make an item have a different texture in your hotbar than it appears in your hand. Is this at all possible using a custom item model? I have searched but not found anything helpful :/
submitted by DapperDemand5541 to Minecraft [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 TEAMTRASHCAN She’s gone

She’s gone submitted by TEAMTRASHCAN to projectcar [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 Unoff1cial_Gamer Just Try

Just Try submitted by Unoff1cial_Gamer to funny [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 4BDUL4Z1Z A Metal Shopping List from 1940s

A Metal Shopping List from 1940s submitted by 4BDUL4Z1Z to specializedtools [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 Viscount-Montgomery After 6 years, 1306 hours, 733 mm games, I am finally not a gold nova. And not a silver either. What else a mere mortal like me can wish for?

After 6 years, 1306 hours, 733 mm games, I am finally not a gold nova. And not a silver either. What else a mere mortal like me can wish for? submitted by Viscount-Montgomery to csgo [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 lunar_lostboy A little story involving a girl I liked named Kylee and my friend Jason (WARNING: Very Anticlimactic)

So in 2nd grade I liked a girl named kylee (She was Hawaiian I think) but as time went on we hung out a lot at the monkey bars during recess and she liked it but in 4th grade she was dum so I was done with her. fast forward to 7th grade I have a new friend named Jason and he likes her and he told me stuff that sounded she really liked him so I told him “just be u or don’t be” (or something like that” the end
submitted by lunar_lostboy to self [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 RainbowUnicorn81 Moonshiner or naturalist?

So I have every role except moonshiner and naturalist, and i finally got enough gold to buy one, which should I buy? I primarily play trader so I hunt a lot and apparently Harriet sprays you and won’t deal with you if you hunt (if she doesn’t see the hide or carcass does she know?) but moonshiner is more expensive and I want to buy some more things with my gold bars
submitted by RainbowUnicorn81 to RedDeadOnline [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 Cooly_dude09_YT I kinda just wanted to promote my twitch and YouTube (kooly_dude09_yt) on here so check them out (not the best brawl player btw 😅)

I kinda just wanted to promote my twitch and YouTube (kooly_dude09_yt) on here so check them out (not the best brawl player btw 😅) submitted by Cooly_dude09_YT to Brawlhalla [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 Brazilianwaxbabe Elle Fanning

Elle Fanning submitted by Brazilianwaxbabe to CelebsBootyTreasure [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 Lurkingdrake [XB1] W: Any souls people can spare H: Karma or Mule

I know the title is gonna seem really pretentious, and I’m sorry. I’m just looking to get my character to a good soul level(around 160ish)so I can have some fun playing around. New player, currently at Undead Settlement. I really wish I could offer more.
submitted by Lurkingdrake to pumparum [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 WrightBrightSalako Guardiola on Silva: "He's in his best form... Bernardo's in the same level he played in the season when we won with 98 points & he was out of this world. He doesn’t lose balls. The performance of Bernardo has been extraordinary." (Video)

Guardiola on Silva: submitted by WrightBrightSalako to FantasyPL [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 bongocopter Where can I get a Jamaican National Team Jersey?

All I can find are replicas. I’m a huge Javain Brown fan, and I want to get an authentic tics jersey with his name and #3 on it, but all I can find online are replicas. Does anybody have any suggestions?
submitted by bongocopter to whitecapsfc [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 Ill-Salamander Ask me anything about my Grimdark Knifepunk Cyberfantasy World

I won't answer your questions, but, you know, you can still ask them.
submitted by Ill-Salamander to worldjerking [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 SzegedNewsBotka Előválasztás ’21: Dobrev vagy MZP? Véget ért a második forduló, nem kevés szegedi szállal

Előválasztás ’21: Dobrev vagy MZP? Véget ért a második forduló, nem kevés szegedi szállal submitted by SzegedNewsBotka to hirok [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 KarlJamero10 Late night munchies your belly just can't resist

submitted by KarlJamero10 to rickroll [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 Legitimate_Ad_7205 Why has no one questioned this?

Why has no one questioned this? submitted by Legitimate_Ad_7205 to Deltarune [link] [comments]

2021.10.17 08:05 MusclesDynamite In search of a BitD Hack - Birds in the Park?

I remember a few months ago I heard of a one-page hack of BitD that involved being pigeons in a park - I think it was called "Birds in the Park." Does anyone else know where I could potentially find it?
submitted by MusclesDynamite to bladesinthedark [link] [comments]